So I'm far more compelled to blog since I've moved. As expected, I really don't have a problem living in DC. But I had NO IDEA how much I would miss the life I had in Kansas City. I LOVE my solitude - I could not possibly be better company (I'm entertaining has hell). But I didn't realize I'd have these feelings of actually being alone - not lonely like Cinderella in her own little corner in her own little chair where she could be whatever she wanted to be (seriously, who doesn't love Rogers and Hammerstein?); but alone on a journey to my new life. There's a feeling of loss...like I lost the life I had and had to do it to get this new one.
But today I laid my eyes on my beloved Pat Brown Dixon and EVERYTHING I missed about that life hit me right upside my head. First, she showed up making it rain with a big ole bottle of Gates BBQ sauce.....aw yeah! Then, having lunch with her and just reminiscing about that other life of mine made me smile - but also made me a little melancholy. I've been seeing the fall events on Facebook that I typically attend - particularly Harl, Sloane and Dakota's Halloween Bash (stinky ole DC Halloween) and Wings of Hope (I MUST FIND ANOTHER OCCASION TO WEAR WINGS AND A HALO!!!!!!!!!) and even the Burning Sands stepshow where the ever dramatic Jackie Jones gets irritated with me for not wanting to go and not wanting to take my check for a donation (I wonder if her sorors know she didn't want my donation). BTW, I went last year and had a blast and was very much so planning to attend this year. But dammit, I need to be able to have a choice as to whether or not I'm going....I do not take kindly to these choices being made for me (to buy an airline ticket or NOT to buy an airline ticket - THAT is the question - my wallet holds the answer)!!!
So that's where I am...it's no longer a migration. It's a quest..a ginormous quest for this new life. What will it look like? How will it act? Will it be as freaking hilarious as the other one? I know I'M still funny; but will there be as many colorful characters? Will I find another Filipino lesbian lover (not really lesbian - and not that there's anything wrong with lesbianship)? Will there be a Tiffany to do a holy dance or start a revolution on cue? Will there be another M-Lissa to teach my Chile cheer to her children over breakfast? Will there be a Tina who'll appreciate the Amish? Will there be a Chief to produce liquor like a magic trick? Will there be a Vanessa to say the N-word at JUST the right time? I sound like CAT asking all those questions. Will there be a question asking CAT?
Oh well, today I'll loosen the grip on that life so I can start to take hold of this new one. I'm sure I'll have moments when I squeeze that other one REALLY tight because it's comfortable and familiar like my grandma's robe that really needs some mending and darning or because that life was as tasty as my Kim Brown's bacon tomato tartlets. My arms are officially wide open to squeeze really really tight whatever I unearth on THE QUEST!
Unfortunately, you are such a good writer that I actually started crying when I read your entry. I think it is because as much as you miss us, I miss you. I guess I took for granted that you were just 6.2 miles away at any given moment (and with you, it is always a memorable moment). I am staring at the screen trying to think of something I can say to make you feel snuggle up in DC like you would do in your grandma's robe (btw, how come I have never tasted Kim Brown's bacon tomato tartlets????), but I can't think of anything. I would, however, highly recommend getting to NYC to meet with cousin Jenny; she will have you laughing in no time. I love you so much, M-karen. (how public can a judge be with her emotions???? I wonder if I am violating the judicial code of conduct????). M-Lissa
ReplyDeleteHey Karen,
ReplyDeleteI was just in the DC area this past weekend (Hunt Valley in Maryland). Send your info and I will try to connect with you when I am there again. Probably in Feb.
Awe KT I am so honored to be included in your wonderful blog and I'm even more honored to be included in your life! Love you girl and so excited about all that God has in store for your NEW life in DC but I'm not going to lie I miss you! I miss the way you would say KBBBBBB! Or you would introduce me to someone new and would say, this is my KB, lol Or the way you would text and or e-mal me and tell me about the sales and or the baddest shoe you just saw. And the way you would just bust out into a song when you felt like singing! One of my most favorite memories when looking at our great friendship (and there are lots!) is when we were at the Blessing of my home and you started singing, I am about to tear up just thinking about it! LOVE YOU , you are never alone, we all love you and we are always here!
ReplyDeleteP.S.
ReplyDeleteI'm in tears.
Filipino Lesbian Lover
Wow! I cried too! I also laughed! The was the best read! I can't say too much more cause my eyes are too wet and I can't see!
ReplyDeleteOh and NO, my sorors didn't know that!
jaj
Oh LAWD why did I have to read this at work?? Why am I crying? Why couldn't KDT just work from home here?? I have so many unanswered questions as usual! I'm going on a pancake strike until you return for the holidays! (or until I get there, whichever comes first) Miss you dearly!! I know you'll make new friends but they won't be as fabulous as us but they can sure try!! signed "the Question Asking CAT"
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