Tuesday, October 26, 2010

The Quest

So I'm far more compelled to blog since I've moved. As expected, I really don't have a problem living in DC.  But I had NO IDEA how much I would miss the life I had in Kansas City.  I LOVE my solitude - I could not possibly be better company (I'm entertaining has hell).  But I didn't realize I'd have these feelings of actually being alone - not lonely like Cinderella in her own little corner in her own little chair where she could be whatever she wanted to be (seriously, who doesn't love Rogers and Hammerstein?); but alone on a journey to my new life. There's a feeling of loss...like I lost the life I had and had to do it to get this new one. 

But today I laid my eyes on my beloved Pat Brown Dixon and EVERYTHING I missed about that life hit me right upside my head.  First, she showed up making it rain with a big ole bottle of Gates BBQ sauce.....aw yeah!  Then, having lunch with her and just reminiscing about that other life of mine made me smile - but also made me a little melancholy.  I've been seeing the fall events on Facebook that I typically attend - particularly Harl, Sloane and Dakota's Halloween Bash (stinky ole DC Halloween) and Wings of Hope (I MUST FIND ANOTHER OCCASION TO WEAR WINGS AND A HALO!!!!!!!!!) and even the Burning Sands stepshow where the ever dramatic Jackie Jones gets irritated with me for not wanting to go and not wanting to take my check for a donation (I wonder if her sorors know she didn't want my donation).  BTW, I went last year and had a blast and was very much so planning to attend this year.  But dammit, I need to be able to have a choice as to whether or not I'm going....I do not take kindly to these choices being made for me (to buy an airline ticket or NOT to buy an airline ticket - THAT is the question - my wallet holds the answer)!!!

So that's where I am...it's no longer a migration.  It's a quest..a ginormous quest for this new life.  What will it look like?  How will it act?  Will it be as freaking hilarious as the other one?  I know I'M still funny; but will there be as many colorful characters?  Will I find another Filipino lesbian lover (not really lesbian - and not that there's anything wrong with lesbianship)?  Will there be a Tiffany to do a holy dance or start a revolution on cue?  Will there be another M-Lissa to teach my Chile cheer to her children over breakfast?  Will there be a Tina who'll appreciate the Amish?  Will there be a Chief to produce liquor like a magic trick?  Will there be a Vanessa to say the N-word at JUST the right time?  I sound like CAT asking all those questions.  Will there be a question asking CAT?

Oh well, today I'll loosen the grip on that life so I can start to take hold of this new one.  I'm sure I'll have moments when I squeeze that other one REALLY tight because it's comfortable and familiar like my grandma's robe that really needs some mending and darning or because that life was as tasty as my Kim Brown's bacon tomato tartlets.  My arms are officially wide open to squeeze really really tight whatever I unearth on THE QUEST!

Saturday, October 23, 2010

Today..This Day....Life As I Know It Has Changed!

So this migration to DC is humming along.  The five minute rule of unpacking and organizing has maintained my sanity.  Giving myself until March 31, 2011 to get the house completly organized has relieved me of any pressure I would have been putting on myself.  My Saturdays are my "dates with DC" days as I engage in a delightful courtship with the DMV.  Well, today was a good day.  In fact, today was a transformative day.  Indeed, life as I know it will never be the same.  I owe it all to two people I've never met.

First, I need tires.  I've been needing tires for at least 3 months.  My front driver side tire has a slow leak.  I've been just putting air in it every other week and humming along because I just don't have whatever it requires of me to go get it permanently fixed.  A FB friend that lives here in the DC area was talking about getting tires and I was just going to read where she got them and go there. No, not lazy - resourceful.  One of HER friends mentioned tirevan.com and that they deliver AND AND AND that they guarantee the lowest price. Ok, this can't be possible.  Exactly what I need, at an affordable price, and RIDICULOUSLY convenient.  This can't be true...it just can't.  I checked the website...shut the front door and slap me six ways to Sunday - IT'S TRUE!  Hallelujah, he is risen and I'm getting my tires!

Second...and this is huge.  A few weeks ago someone I follow on Twitter mentioned an Amish Market in Laurel, Maryland and was singing the praises of the fresh food and these amazing prices.  I'm familiar with the Amish and their products and said to myself, "I want to go to there."  Well, today I did.  And I had the most GLORIOUS grocery shopping experience of my 46 years, nine months and 15 days on the planet.  As a PROUD Chopper Shopper (holla if you hear me) I've been really missing Price Chopper.  I absolutely positively love and adore Trader Joe's and that has helped take the sting out of missing Price Chopper.  Well Honeychild, I walked in that Amish market today and the birds started singing, angels were rejoicing, and Gabriel was blowing that horn at everything I saw.  It was as if me, Jesus and my Daddy (who loved grocery shopping - actually it was a bit of a problem for him - couldn't come home without a bag) were strolling the aisles and pointing to goodies and giggling like school girls.  I had heart palpitations as if I were at Saks 10022 Shoe Salon, everything was 75% off, I had a 20 % off total purchase coupon and EVERYTHING was my size.  I really don't have the vocabulary to express the superlatives or expletives to share my sheer and utter joy at this experience.  It hit me hard and cut me deep...real deep...loins deep!!!

Then I began to wonder.  Why don't I know more about the Amish? I started talking to them as they were ringing up my purchases.  They were REALLY nice and I think we really hit it off.  I want them to be my friends.  I could rock those dresses with some bad tights and a hot ankle boot or clog.  I will even wear the bonnet. (I need to see if it comes in another color other than white.)  Bottom line, I've found my new grocery store and can't wait to do it again and again and again.  Praise God from whom all blessings, produce, poultry, and Amish flow!

Thursday, October 7, 2010

Migration 101

The biggest realization about this migration to DC is that - Moving is my KRYPTONITE!  I had no idea that this was my weakness.  I thought I just didn't like it.  I've always told friends I don't help people move because I hate it so don't ask me.  The ONLIEST person I will ever help move anything is my Mama.  And even then, I'll pay somebody to do it for her. So the fact that I had to move for this job did bring on some anxiety but I figured I could handle it since movers would be coming to pack me up and would unpack me upon my arrival in DC. 

Let's take a moment and roll back to 2005.  I bought a house and was actually excited about it.  On closing day, I'd gone to work and had lunch with a client and was excitedly headed out the door to closing.  As I started the 20 minute drive, something came over me and tears started to flow.  By the time I arrived at the office for the closing, I was just one level below hysterical.

Now any of you who've purchased a home know there are a LOT of papers to sign.  After I signed the FIRST paper, I cried a few tears.  By the time, I'd sign the last paper, I was audibly wailing...WAILING!  After that, I had to go buy paint at the Home Depot.  All that poor young fella did was ask me what kind of paint I wanted.  I said the kind that goes on the walls and he drilled down further and asked if I wanted flat or something else...I still don't really know paint.  I just looked at him and tears started to flow.  I slid down the paint counter and sat on the floor of the Home Depot and cried HYSTERICALLY!  That boy couldn't have been more than 22 or 23 and he came around that counter and was patting me on the shoulder telling me it would be ok.

Fast forward to Friday, September 10.  I'd been in a DC hotel since September 1 so I was really looking forward to moving into the house and beginning the process of settling down.  Movers arrived and started bringing things in the house and the heart palpitations began.  Stuff was coming in the house fast and furious and I couldn't keep up with directing the movers around.  Then the internet guy shows up and he doesn't have everything I need for my internet although I was VERY clear when I called to order my internet service.  He kept asking me questions and the movers are still asking me where stuff goes.  More heart palpitations and now tears.  I WANT MY MAMA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Called Mama, felt calmer hearing her voice and reassurance.  Internet man leaves and Directv man shows up.  Poor Directv man...I'm not even sure what he asked me. But whatever it was, it sent me into a bout of Classic KT Hysteria!  I am crying so hard I can't breathe.  Poor man, he comes over and starts patting my shoulder and telling me it was going to be ok (reminiscent of the poor Home Depot boy - I wonder how he's doing).  He kept telling me I had to breathe or I was going to pass out and he went to the kitchen and got me some water.  I'm not sure what he was saying in Spanish. I think he was saying "This is a very nice lady."  I finally calmed down a bit and he started doing his work.  He's upstairs working and I hear a big noise. 

Directv Man: Mam, are you ok?
Me:  I was just about to ask you if you're ok?
Directv Man:  (I hear him walking around upstairs).  Mam, I want you to come upstairs to see something but you have to promise me you're not going to cry. 
Me:  Ok. I promise.

One of the racks I'd had in the bedroom I was converting to my closet had fallen down and all of my clothes were on the floor.  I just looked and walked back downstairs.  Next thing I know another Directv man showed up.  Directv 1 man had called for reinforcement!!!  I think my calm had terrified him.  The two of them stood in the foyer talking in Spanish and every now and then they'd look over at me.  I think Directv Man 1 wanted Directv Man 2 to meet this very nice lady.

After they left, Mama called to check on me and told me to work on organizing the house for just an hour a day.  The next day I started working on it and started having heart palpitations after 5 minutes so now I know my limit. Five minutes at a time.  I've given myself until March, 2011 to be organized.

I will NOT ever again be in charge of moving me.  In the unfortunate event, I have to move again, my mother and my sister (moving and organizing experts) will come to the house and direct movers to pack and then go to the new residence to direct the unpacking/organizing process.  I will take one of my cute weekend bags and go to a hotel and come back when the home is ready for my occupancy. 

Moving  = Kryptonite.
Knowing that moving is my kryptonite = Stress-free living.