Monday, December 17, 2012

Match THIS!

In my previous blog (which wasn't that long there) I mentioned how I've decided I like dating more than relationships.  I've been trying to figure out why I need a relationship and can't really come up with a solid reason. it is.

I started Project Yes back in the summer.  Project Yes was/is quite simply me saying "Yes" to anyone who asks me out (as long as they don't give me the heebee geebees or look like they'll murder me) I'll say yes.  I get stopped all the time and I blow these men off all the time.  I quite possibly could have been blowing off a really good date.  So I'm off on the Yes Train...choo choo...woop woop!!

THEN, my soror strongly suggested I get on where she met her fiance.  I'm thinking ok - the electronic version of Project Yes.  How bad could it be - a little bad grammar here and there.  I did have some self talk about not judging people who think your and you're are interchangeable.

I need to take a commercial break to say - THEY'RE NOT!  YOUR is a possessive - like it belongs to you.   YOU'RE is the the contraction YOU ARE.  Typos are one thing.  Grammar incompetence is a completely different thing and I rebuke it as the child of an educator and in the mighty name of my 5th grade teacher Mrs. Barge. LEARN THE KING'S ENGLISH, PEOPLE!  Shamalabosa!!!

Antywho...during Sandra J. Frankenstorm while I was home-bound, I created a Match profile. While I was concerned that my first set of daily matches contained this dude that owned (or at least photographed in) far too many berets that any non Frenchman should, it wasn't so bad.  Some brothas actually looked interesting.  The winks and emails started coming with a quickness and I'm thinking this will really be fun.  Until....this e-mail happens.

Subj: For Your Information (FYI)
"My fantasy with you is making you pregnant with my child.  Todd"

That was the EXACT email.  I read this at about 11p and I had the most stupefied look on my face because really, what are you supposed to think?  Has a precedent been set for such an e-mail?  Is that in the manual?  I read it and re-read it about 5 times before I was very clear that I was reading correctly - I even put on readers just to be sure.   We're not going to even get into the fact that he doesn't think I know what FYI means...but I digress.  I'm as fascinated as I am appalled. Of course I responded because, above all else, I am here to entertain you.

Me:  That was the craziest thing I've ever read in my existence on the earth. 

And subsequent emails went like this....

Subj: For Your Information (FYI)
The Astrological Compatibility was there--in both Zodiacs.

Me: No.  I'm pretty sure you're wrong.

Subj:  No
The timing is off. If I could do it all over again: I would not have married that Aquarius.

Me:  I'm certain she feels the same way.

Subj: Please
You don't understand Aquarius.
However, I understand you with out knowing you. I am a Virgo - Ox and you are a Capricorn - Rabbit. If I would have met a Capricorn - Rabbit in the 80's, we would not be having this communication.
Older and wiser. Where is that time machine?

Me: What I do understand is while I can easily erase this email from my inbox, I cannot erase it from my mental Rolodex.  Please continue your pursuit of a Capricorn as long as it's not me.

So yeah, that happened. To Me. KT. If that's not a Classic KT moment, I really don't know what is. I'm not going to lie.  I'm kind of tempted to sign up for Christian Singles, Black People Meet and whatever other wackadoo site I can find - just to be entertained.  I'm headed down a slippery slope now of not even wanting to date....JUST ENTERTAIN ME, DAMMIT!  Bet you can't match THAT!

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