Monday, May 14, 2012

The Girl Is Graduating!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anybody who knows me knows that had I been alive during the early 20th century, I would have TOTALLY aspired to be the Town Crier.  I would love to run the streets in a spiffy outfit sharing the news with the citizenry.  I would have been sooooo good at that job.  I would have been known throughout the land as the best Town Crier EVER.  In fact, when big news happened, on my day off, they would have waited to share it until I got back to work because they would have wanted me on the job.  OR, I would have gotten paid overtime to come in and share the news.  Which begs the question - would I have had a salary, been paid hourly or would I have been paid per news event that I cried?   And had I been paid per event would I have had to have another job, too?  during that time, most/all women were married so I would imagine that my husband would have supported us and I would have done the crier gig on the side of being the CEO of the household. Hell, laundry alone is a full time job!  I probably would have been married to a guy that would be turned on by my crier duties and would have wanted me to wear my crier clothes at home while we were role playing.  I went too far didn't I?  Sorry about that...

At any rate, as the present day town crier...

I'm sooo excited, I literally do want to run the streets screaming it but I won't so that I don't get arrested.  But thinking of doing that made me think of other things I should probably not do at her graduation festivities this weekend.  There are three scheduled events - the hooding ceremony on Saturday, Baccalaureate on Sunday and the Graduation on Monday.  I have visions of certain things I MAY do; but I'm committed to containing myself and NOT doing them.  They include:

1) Shouting/Speaking in Tongues:  I have a vision of me jumping up and down shouting GLORRRAAAYYYY to get started and then it's on from there.  HALLELUJAH...309UDPOIJD 3*&)*&...literally in a full back bend, head thrown back screaming at the top of my lungs...waiting for an usher to come by to fan me and throw a hankie over me as I'm spread eagle on the floor.

2) On the floor in the fetal position:  almost the opposite of the shouting experience would be me on the floor in the fetal position, sucking my thumb and crying uncontrollable tears of joy making a ridiculous amount of noise....not worrying at all that my spanx are showing .  Intermittent embarrassing stories of her childhood would come between the bouts of tears and thumb sucking.

3) Pee on Myself:  Although I've never done it, when I get REALLY excited, I get nervous that I may pee my pants.  Depends IS an option, but does that mean I'll have to get bigger spanx to accommodate them? And will there be a visible panty ( or Depends) line?

4) Running:  that's another thing I do when I get excited, I just want to run in a full sprint so fast that I need someone to tackle me to stop me.

5) Twirling/Spinning/Skipping:  when I get happy I want to spin and twirl until I'm dizzy and I need to sit down. Then I want to skip.  Now, I've been rehabbing this knee so my skipping is pretty good these days.  My skipping has probably made it to the 70th percentile of skippers worldwide!

One of my aunts gave me an amazing compliment this weekend.  She said "You so know how to live in the moment!"  I loved that because I don't "try" to do it, I just do.  It's the way I live.  So this weekend, as I'm living in the moment of the revelry of The Girl's graduation weekend, I will not do anything to embarrass her.  I will, however, be fully present in the most celebratory fashion I know how.  I will have a permanent grin on my face of sheer unadulterated joy and pride.  I will likely cry...a lot (no noise) - and I will have the cutest hankies that belonged to my grandmother - which will probably make me cry more (MY GRANDMA'S HANKIE...LAWD).  I will hug her a lot.  I will hug my Mama a lot.  I will likely even hug my ex-husband (possibly - still TBD - since I live in the moment it will probably happen before I realize it).  I will Hercules clap when her name is called - to the point I'll likely bruise my palms.

Yep this is a weekend for which Town Criers live.  And this wanna be Town Crier will be at her best.

THE GIRL IS GRADUATING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


  1. LOL, you are SUCH a NUT, that is WHY I LOVE YOU!!!!! Congratulations PROUD MAMA, hope to see you in the ATL!!!!! :-)

  2. You are amazing. After reading your words, it made me realize one of the many, many reasons the connection between us is so strong...I also relish and live in the moment. How do you say Seize the Moment in latin (as opposed to Carpe Diem, seize the day)?

    I love you!

  3. I'm in tears from laugther already. Karen, you are seriously off the chain. To you congratulations on a job well done. To the graduate, what an exciting time this will be. Enjoy the moment because you deserve it. A big congratulations to you, graduate.